“If they have no clothes, let them wear dress.”

“I lost my head, but at least my outfit remained impeccable.”

“I have led a nation through division, yet never have I encountered a cardigan so capable of restoring inner unity.”

“Style is relative. But the comfort of this cardigan is an absolute.”

“One must imagine Sisyphus well-dressed.”

“I wore it once, and for a brief moment, I was not anyone at all. Highly recommended.”

“I don’t remember who I was.
But I remember I liked this.”

“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.
So is choosing good knitwear.”

“I came, I saw… I added it to my wardrobe.”

“I opened the box.
Inside, there was this dress.
I regret nothing.”

“I bought it for blending in.
It did not help.”

“I came for the brains. I could find none, but I stayed for the breathable cotton blend.”

"I am Groot. (Translation: This sweater makes me look less like a tree and more like a trendsetter.)"

“A garment of no significance, according to official sources.
Unofficially, we are less certain.”

“Absolutely no unusual properties have been observed.
Any claims suggesting otherwise are considered unfounded… at this time.”